yesturday and today and forever

So, I've been packing tonight for my long anticipated 7 week trip to Philadelphia, and its just one of those rare times when you can just sort of mindlessly do what you're doing and totally contemplate something else at the same time. It's great!

What I was contemplating about was change. I see big change in my life in the upcoming year if not in the upcoming weeks. Not just big change in my circumstances, but I think the way that I view the world and my role in it is about to be shifted in a way its never been before. Honestly I have no clear idea what's in store for me, but so far my life has been an adventure!

I also contemplated the character of God. In Hebrews 13:8, it says God "is the same yesturday and today and forever". As for me, my only consistancy is my inconsistancy. What I mean is, things are always changing, whether I like the change or not, whether I feel ready for it or not.

Despite my striving to be a good person, I am so inevitably imperfect. But I believe that in my imperfections, God's perfectness is made evident. Also, in His greatness, I am incredibly miniscule. I think that this relationship describes both God's immense delight in us, his creation as well as the fullness and immensity of Him and through Him! Isaiah 40 says this:

"Who has understood the mind of the LORD,
or instructed him as his counselor?
Who was it that taught him knowledge
or showed him the right path of understanding?

Surely the nations are like a drop in a bucket...
Before him all the nations are as nothing;
they are regarded by him as worthless
and less than nothing.

To whom then will you compare God?...

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
Has it not been told to you from the
beginning?
Have you not understood it since the earth
was founded?
He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth,
and its people are like grasshoppers...
He brings princes to naught
and reduces the rulers of this world to nothing...

Lift your eyes and look to the heavens:
Who created all these?

The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired and weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

I love the part about soaring on wings like eagles, I always wanted to be able to fly. Wouldn't that be amazing? I had a dream that I was flying once; and in the dream, flying around, I felt like nothing could stop me, like nothing could weigh me down, because I was free!

In terms of my life, again not perfect, I think sometimes I carry around burdens I'm not meant to carry and sometimes the weight gets a bit heavier than I can handle, and it weighs me down and it wears me down. Its my stubborn pride that prevents me from admitting I can't do everything and that I can't control everything. I think of the words of Jesus, "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matt. 11:28-30).

This week God has been testing my faith, especially with raising support for my project, and I started trying to do everything by my own effort, and I got tired! and frustrated. and things didn't go how I wanted them to go! I read something though about surrendering in cooperation with God's way. (Which Romans 12 says is good and perfect and pleasing...) One thing I'll say, after I surrendered to God, whose understanding is much greater and nobler than mine and who is in control always, I saw just how much he delights to be our hope and that he understands our need for his strength! As Isaiah 40:31 says, "but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint".

So, what does all this have to do with change? I believe God's Justice is MIGHTY. But his Love is also MIGHTY! (check out Rom. 8:37-39 and Eph. 3:16-20) He is infinitely 100% Just and 100% Love at the same time. (whew, that took me a while to wrap my mind around, believe me!) The bible speaks of God as a rock and a refuge. I think about that and I think about the world around me and all whirling turmoil, all the storms thrown at my plans for sunny day picnics if you know what I mean, and I know in my heart I can't go through it alone. I need something, or someone solid to cling to. My hope is in the LORD and he promises to renew my strength--and he has! He has immensely.

Allright that's all for now. "May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him!" (Rom.15:13)